A Los Angeles Tale
by Dawn Rei Faun
Summary: Well, it's an AU high school story set in the present in LA...but hopefully it's not like the others! (You know, like "popular guy falls for nerdy girl" and the like...it's more like "Welcome to the Dollhouse"
1. Default Chapter

**_Title: _**_A __Los Angeles__ Tale  
_**_Inspiration(s): _**_Not based on anything in particular, but here are many inspirations...  
_**_Author: _**_Miss Rei Faun  
_**_Anime: _**_Mobile__ Suit Gundam Wing  
_**_Type of Fanfic: _**_Alternative Universe; set in LA in the present (high school drama)  
_**_Genre: _**_Drama/Comedy/Romance (some chapters have more comedy then drama)  
_**_Couple(s): _**_OC x HS; DM x HS  
_**_Yaoi_****_ Yuri or Het: _**_Yuri and later Het  
_**_Original Characters: _**_A lot...  
_**_Notes/Warnings: _**_Well...it's a Gundam Wing story and my first fanfic with an NC-17 rating (but I'm a slow writer so by the time I get to THAT part, I'll probably be almost 18...). But this is an edited version...so it's rated R. This stars my favorite couple (but nothing happens between them until the middle of the story...). Many of the characters of GW will be here and there are some small subplots. Despite the content that will be in it (look at the rating), the story's not that dark. A bunch of humor's in it. Think of it as "Great Expectations" (the movie) mixed with "Not Another Teen Movie" and "Family Guy."  
__So it's a high school drama with me making fun of high school stereotypes (well, some anyway).  
__Then there's the bunch of songs featured...  
__Most of the OC are the characters' family members and friends (and you'll be seeing a lot of them...)  
__I don't know when schools and breaks began or end in LA, so I'm just making that up...__A  
nd if Duo's more serious than he needs to be (aka OOC), I'm sorry  
_**_Rating: _**_R for lime, angst, some drugs, sadness, and a bad flashback. (Edited)  
_**_Chapter Rating: _**_PG-13 (for language)  
_**_Disclaimer: _**_GW belongs to Sunrise/Bandai; and all my inspirations come from their respected owners..._

* * *

_April 4th..._

Spring break sadly had ended. Now everyone was to go back to school.

School buses would rein the streets once again.

Then there's homework...

"All right!" A little red-haired girl shouted with triumph. She held up her typed paper and smiled. "I finally finished my paper about spring break!"

"But Ana! Spring break is over," a smaller red-haired boy replied.

The girl known as Ana—one of the many names short for Anastasia—turned to him and smiled. "Mrs. Harrison wanted us to write about it while we're _experiencing_ it. I just wrote what happened yesterday."

"...Oh." The eight year old boy looked down at the paper for a moment. "But I dun wanna go back to school!" He whined.

"I know, but look on the bright side, _Nikolai_. We only have seven more weeks to go..."

"Yeah..._seven_ more weeks..." _Nikolai _—Nicholas—sighed miserably...

Suddenly the eleven year old girl stood up and cheered, "Now repeat after me!"

The boy looked at her with naïve, beady eyes. "Okie..."

"I, Anastasia O'Malley Trotsky!"

"I, Nicholas O'Malley Trotsky..."

"Will survive!"

"Will sufive..."

"These last seven years of school before summer break!"

"The last seven years o' school before sum'r break." The boy looked up at her. "Now what?"

She then pointed up in the air and shouted, "Now let's go kick some last-seven-weeks-of-school booty!"

"...Yay..."

* * *

_At another house..._

Down at the house's basement, the alarm clock went extremely off at exactly 7:15am.

And then that very clock was thrown at the wall, smashed into about a dozen pieces of scrap metal...

Suddenly a red-haired lady opened the door and yelled, "For god sakes, Duo! It's freakin' seven!"

"I wanna stay home!" came out a muffled reply...

The lady scoffed. "Well maybe you should've stayed home all last week instead of who _knows_ where...and getting stoned—_again_!"

"Blah-blah-blh-blh-blh-blah!" That voice babbled... "Bitch bitch bitch..."

The lady quietly shut the door. "Okay...well...I got that CD of—what was that band you like? Oh yes! KoRn! That's their name. Well, it seems it wants to run right to the trash bag..."

All of a sudden, there was muffled large stomping on the stairs, followed by a crash, followed by explicit cursing...

...And out crashed in a very fucked up guy with a very fucked up long braid...

This guy is Duo...Duo Maxwell...

...You know...that guy...he rides on a large, spooky-looking robot (gundam) on the anime Gundam Wing...

...He was unfortunately paired with some other dude in fanfiction...

...Never mind...

Anyway, the lady shouted a very fake squeal of joy... "Well, if it isn't my only druggie son! Wheee!"

Duo just looked at the lady (his mom) like she was completely fucked up...or something...

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

Duo was out of the bathroom, fully (...) groomed and dressed with his black hoodie and his baggy pants. He was just walking though another room in which his young fifteen year old cousin was sharing.

And then some corny song from Gwen Stefani ended up piercing his eardrums enough to make them bleed...

_If I was a rich girl...  
__Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-naaa!  
__I would get all the money in the world,  
__If I was a wealthy girl!_

Duo heard this song for the umpteenth time from his cousin...

"Ey! Cut that down, will ya!"

The dreaded song kept going...

"I SAID shut that damn thing down!"

And suddenly, a red-haired (see the pattern here?) girl with bleached strands, flower-decorated nails, and...glitter...peeked out. "I don't have to!" And quickly went back...pissing off Duo...

"You WHAT!"

His next resort: _banging_ the door down...

"If you don't turn that damn thing down, I'm gonna rip our fuckin' head off and feed it to those damn monkeys!"

"You're not gonna do SHIT, so you can just go and TALK to the hand!"

"WHAT!"

"You heard me you mother fuck—"

* * *

Duo's mom and grandmother were sitting downstairs in the dining room, drinking coffee...

...And hearing the shouting from the teenagers.

"Oh my," sighed the worried grandmother. "They awfully fight a lot, do they?"

"Heh..."

"Strange music, too..."

"That's what you said about the music _I_ used to listen to, mom..."

"Well, Lizzie. You and your brother used to fight a lot—him fighting over—what was that band called again?"

"AC/DC, mom."

"And you liked..."

Lindsey (Duo's mom, by the way) O'Malley Maxwell groaned exasperatedly, "Mom! It was George Michael, mom! George Michael! I don't care if he's gay! He was straight to me!" And then she sat back down, getting ready to cry...

Mrs. Sarah O'Malley (grandmother), no more than fifty-seven, sat there, staring at her thirty-eight year old daughter... "Well!"

All of a sudden...

"MOM!"

"AUNT LIZ!"

Duo and his cousin, Nellie O'Malley, both red in rage, stood there...

"Well hello, children!" Mrs. O'Malley smiled. "Are you two ready to go back to school?"

"...No..."

"I'm very sorry, children, but look on the bright side!"

"What bright side, granny!" Nellie whined.

"Well—" The elder lady thought for a moment, "You guys now only have a few more weeks of school left."

Duo grinned. "Yep! And it's my last few weeks of school EVER!" And then he turned to Nellie, "And YOU have three more goddamn years of hell to go!" And then he started laughing, being as cruelly to her as possible... (the poor girl's tears were welling up...)

"Well, see you later, everybody!" He grinned before grabbing his book bag and skedaddled out of there.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Nellie cried.

As they left, Lindsey grinned and ran to the radio.

"Lizzie! What are you doing!" Sarah cried.

Lindsey put on one of her tapes and:

_Do you really want to hurt me?  
__Do you really want to make me cry!_

"Don't you see, mom! The kids are gone and now I can dance to my tune!"

"Lizzie?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to go to work, you know..."

"Shit!"

* * *

The red car (often being compared to a "little red corvette"...) was like a treasure to Lindsey and Duo. It was his dad's before he was killed and Duo convinced (and it was hard work, too) Lindsey to take it.

Well, today, Duo ended up having to pick of his little cousins (the two kids at the beginning) and drop them off.

And THEN he had to pick of his three friends (well, two of them...one is more like an "arch enemy.")

"Hello Duo and Nellie!" A red-haired woman greeted as the car stopped by Anastasia's and Nicholas' house.

"Hey, Aunt Marie!" Nellie shouted. She's their mother (and as you will find out later, the only _normal_ child of Sarah O'Malley)

"Well they should be here shortly—"

"Nellie!" Nicky shouted. "Guess what happened in Yu-Gi-Oh, yesterday?"

"...Do I care?" she simply asked. "I don't watch cartoons anymore!"

"Well, you should!"

Marie giggled.

"C'mon, Nicky! We gotta go!" Ana shouted as she ran to the car.

"Hey, Nastasia," Duo said.

"Hello!"

And so the car drove off.

And then that hamster dance song came on the radio.

"All right!" Ana cheered. "It's the Hamster Dance Song!"

"Yay!" Nicky shouted.

Duo and Nellie looked at the children as if they were retarded...

"Hey! A truck!" Nicky shouted.

Duo turned around and a truck was headed straight for them!

"Oh SHIT!"

"OH GOD!" Nellie shouted!

The car immediately screeched back to its right lane.

"Why don't you watch where you're fuckin driving!" She screamed,

"SHUT UP!" He screamed back!

The kids however were too busy jamming to the hamster dance song to hear their older cousins cussing each other out...

* * *

Finally, the car reached the kids' elementary school.

"All right! Hop out kiddes," Duo simply said.

"We're not kiddies!" Ana protested.

"You are to me."

"Whatever...c'mon, Nick!"

"Coming!" Nicky quickly hopped out and the two ran off.

The hamster song kept going...

As soon as the kids were gone, Duo quickly shut of the radio!

"Oh thank fucking god!" Nellie groaned.

"Song was fucking weird..." Duo muttered.

"Was that Nick and Ana running off just now?"

The two turned to see a blond boy.

"Quatre!" Nellie shouted in a sing-song voice...

"Hi, Nellie," Quatre R. Winner smiled.

"Quatre, what are you doing here?" Duo asked. "I mean, your _driver_ usually takes you..."

"Well, I wanted to hang out with you guys," he answered. "The others are coming over."

"Well, that's just great!" Nellie grinned. "Like, I'll finally get to see what's inside crazy head of Heero's!"

"Oh I'm afraid it's not that simple," Quatre giggled.

Duo stared at his cousin, and then he muttered, "Excuse me." He walked out the car and walked to a bush.

And the he threw up!

Three other guys walked to them. (Which are Heero, Trowa and Wufei...)

"What's wrong with him?" Trowa asked.

Wufei looked at Duo for a moment and then he turned to Heero. "I think your name was mentioned..."

* * *

"So, Trowa!" Nellie began, facing back. "I see you're doing some Shakespeare play or _whatever_ the hell it is..."

"Well, it's just an audition..."

"Oh..."

The car was almost there to Mitchell High School (I made up the name...) ...their school...

"How _was_ your spring break by the way?"

"It was peaceful..." Wufei answered. "...until just last Saturday..."

At that, Trowa glanced at Heero, and then at Duo. "Yeah."

"YOU guys must be excited about having only a few more weeks of school left before college..." Nellie stated.

"Yep." Wufei simply answered...

"I feel bad about Relena, though," Quatre's face fell. "She's a junior and she'll be all alone next year..."

"She'll be all right," Trowa reassured him. "If anything happens, Heero will come down and kill the harasser."

Heero glared at Trowa, slight blushing...

"Hmm..." Nellie sat back. "I wanna listen to Nelly..."

"Hell no!" Duo protested.

"Why not!"

"Because he's stupid!"

"You know what? I think Fred Durst is stupid!"

"And thing's just got chaotic..." Trowa smiled.

Duo smirked. "Well, I think Usher is a retard!"

Nellie gasped. "You take that back!"

"Nope!"

"Take it back!"

"Hell no!"

"Take it!"

"N-O!"

"Take it back goddamn it!"

"NO!"

"Duo?" Quatre interrupted.

"What!"

"You've just passed the school..."

"...Fuck..."

_(A/N: Well, that was fun...well stay tuned to the next chapter.)_


	2. Is that what'sherface?

**_Title: _**_A __Los Angeles__ Tale  
_**_Inspiration(s): _**_Not based on anything in particular, but here are many inspirations...  
_**_Author: _**_Miss Rei Faun  
_**_Anime: _**_Mobile__ Suit Gundam Wing  
_**_Type of Fanfic: _**_Alternative Universe; set in __Los Angeles__ in the present (high school drama)  
_**_Genre: _**_Drama/Comedy/Romance (some chapters have more comedy then drama)_**_  
Couple(s): _**_OC x HS; DM x HS  
_**_Yaoi_****_ Yuri or Het: _**_Yuri and later Het  
_**_Original Characters: _**_A lot...  
_**_Notes/Warnings: _**_High school stereotypes ahead...(once again) if Duo's more serious than he needs to be (aka OOC), I'm sorry...BTW Meilan's in it too...  
_**_Rating: _**_R for lime, angst, some drugs, sadness, and a bad flashback. (Edited)  
_**_Chapter Rating: _**_R (for language)  
_**_Disclaimer: _**_GW belongs to Sunrise/Bandai; and all my inspirations come from their respected owners...  
_

* * *

_At Mitchell High..._

The school bus drove at the parking lot and the students got out. One of the students in particular was a new student—a petite and thin girl dressed in a frilly black short dress and a bell-shaped hat...

She nervously held on to her book bag and ran to the school.

* * *

Students were not allowed in the school until the bell rings at 8:05, so everybody sat or stood anywhere at the school grounds.

Two girls in particular sat at the bleachers staring at the sky.

"The way I see it, Catherine," one of the girls began, "athletes love it when girls come and flirt with them."

"If you feel that way, Dorothy, go ahead," Catherine Bloom muttered. "Just don't cry when they start doing forced _sodomy_ on you..."

"What!" Dorothy Catalonia exclaimed.

"That's how jocks are!"

"Now you're just being stereotypical!"

"I may be, but I care _not!_"

Just then the girl in the frilly black dress sat down at the bleachers a few feet away.

The two girls observed her for a moment.

"Is that who I _think_ it is?" Dorothy asked.

"I think so...I think it's what's-her-face..."

"Well, I'm going to find out!" Dorothy said as she ran to the girl.

Catherine followed. "Just don't look stupid..."

* * *

The girl looked out at the field. She then sighed. It's been three years...

"Hilde!" It was Dorothy. "Hilde Schbeiker!"

The girl looked up to see Dorothy.

"Yes?" Hilde asked.

"It's me!" She answered. "You remember Cathy, don'cha?"

"Hey, Hil! No time long see, eh?" Catherine smiled.

Hilde stared at them for a moment.

"...Who are you?"

Damn! Stabbed in the back!

"...I'm Dorothy Catalonia...and that's Catherine Bloom...

"Don't you remember us, Hilde?" Catherine asked, a little concerned.

"...No."

Ooooh! Another stab in the back!

"Oh c'mon Hilde! You gotta remember us!" Dorothy exclaimed. "We used to...hang out at the park...have slumber parties...I remember lying to you that Duo tried to kill the president!"

Hilde's eyes brightened a bit. "Duo's here?"

"...Yeah..." _She remembers that idiot but not us..._

"You told her he tried to kill _the president_, Dorothy!" Catherine yelled.

"Hilde?" The girls turned to see who said that.

Down the bleachers there were two guys and a girl—all goths.

It was the girl who called out her name, with her red-violet dyed hair, intense black makeup, and her black and red shirt with baggy pants. She was large, but has a curve, and she was very attractive.

"Lacey!" Hilde shouted happily and ran down to hug her and the guys...leaving Dorothy and Catherine alone.

"Well, it looks like she's got friends of her own," Catherine said. "Too bad she doesn't remember us..."

"...She turned...goth..." Dorothy stuttered.

"...So?"

"Not only did she cut her hair—she turned goth!" You could tell by the black converses and fishnet stockings...

"I think goths are pretty cool and exotic looking. Too bad the Columbine massacre has scarred their name..."

"You mean...she's not gonna kill us?"

"Dammit Dorothy, NO! And you said _I_ was stereotyping..."

"Hold on..." The two looked up to see an Asian girl staring at the group. "Isn't that what's-her-face?"

The girls stared at her.

Catherine sighed. "Yes, Meilan, that's her, and no, she doesn't remember any of us."

* * *

The final bell was about to ring and everyone was rushing to their designated classes. Hilde was having a hard time finding her classroom. She was a junior but classes from all grades would be in a single hallway...

Just when she got in, the bell rang.

Another girl looked up and her eyes widened—in shock and in joy. "Hilde!" she whispered.

Hilde looked up and saw the girl. It was Relena Darlian, an old friend. Her real name was Peacecraft but she was adopted. She smiled and waved. When the announcements were over, the teacher had to give Hilde anything he was currently teaching them.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Hello! And welcome back!" A female government and economics teacher named Ms. Hayes looked at all her students. (That included Duo and Quatre...)

Everyone groaned. She loved torturing these people.

"Well, stopping moaning. Besides—" she let out a fake gasp. "Boy, do I got a surprise for you! Oh my! I wonder what it is—oh here it comes!" And then she held up a government/economic book.

"Reading these twenty pages and taking notes for homework! Yaaay..."

See what I mean?

Well, anyway, everyone groaned at this.

And Duo silently uttered, "Mother fucker..."

* * *

_Lunch, 6th period..._

Lunch! Almost everyone's favorite mother fucking hour!

Unless you have no one to sit with...then you're pretty much fucked...

Relena had a different lunch, as did Lacey and two of their friends Brian and Terry.

And so Hilde was basically alone...

Suddenly someone accidentally bumped into her.

"Oh! Sorry." It was Trowa.

He began walking back to his table. And then he stopped and his eyes widened. He immediately walked back to Hilde and took a good look. He smiled.

"Long time no see, Hilde."

Hilde smiled, too. He knew him, but he couldn't remember his name. "Er...what was your name again?"

"Trowa. Trowa Barton."

"Oh yeah!" And they both laughed.

* * *

"Guess who's back?" Trowa announced.

"Who, the Marquis de Sade?" Duo retorted.

"No, it's n—_de Sade,_ Duo?"

"Yeah...you know...the perverted dude from the 1700s..."

"..."

"He wrote erotic novels?"

"..."

"Never mind..."

"I _know_ who he is Duo...but why are _you_ reading that?"

"Because I _can_...he's my fuckin' idol!"

"...Okay, now you're just grossing me out..."

"Well, who is it?" Wufei asked.

Just then Hilde appeared. She wasn't expecting a huge welcome-back greeting.

"You guys remember her do you?" Trowa asked.

"Yeah..." Wufei answered. "She's—"

"Hilde Schbeiker," Duo finished, apathetically. Hilde sighed.

She knew it...

"Thank you for interrupting me, asshole." Wufei retorted.

"You're welcome, dick." Duo muttered.

"Son of a bitch."

"Fucker."

"Cunt-eater."

"Cum-drinker."

Trowa sighed at this and turned to Hilde. "I doubt you remember them acting this way..."

"Um, Wufei pretty much...Duo not so much..."

"Well, on that note, would you like to sit with us?" Trowa asked.

"Well...all right."

* * *

_Fast-forward to after school..._

Hilde was again with Lacey, Brian, and Terry. It was a long time since she saw them...

Hilde's mom and grandpa had found a house in San Francisco when she was in eighth grade and they moved there. The young girl was very lonely. But on the first day she went to one of the middle schools, she met Lacey Jones (the middle school was right by the high school). Lacey was two years older than Hilde. She would've been a sophomore that year, but she flunked a year. Hilde soon met up with Lacey's younger cousin Terry (same age as Hil. He's living with the family) and his boyfriend Brian (same age as Lacey who also flunked. He moved in with the two.).

Unfortunately, last year, Lacey's mom felt like leaving San Francisco, so she took her, Brian and Terry with them, leaving Hilde alone...

And so, here they are, her dear friends. She surely didn't expect them to be _here!_

Suddenly, Brian took out a joint and started smoking it. Hilde wasn't surprised. He and Lacey have always experimented in drugs. Once she saw Brian injecting himself with some narcotics and Lacey inhaled so much cocaine her nose bled heavily. Terry would drink beer and smoke cigarettes, but that was it. Hilde? She couldn't even smoke a cigarette let alone a joint (she almost choked while doing so once).

She likes red wine. That's it.

"For god's sakes, Bri, you're gonna kill yourself!" Terry scolded.

Brian turned to Terry. "You know how long it was since the last I took a whiff? Two. Fucking. Days."

"Amen," Lacey and Hilde snickered.

Hilde turned to Lacey. "Can I come by your house tonight?"

"Sure."

Hilde suddenly became nervous. "You don't think your mom will mind, do you? I mean, I don't think she really liked me much."

"Fuck her. She does whatever she can to screw up my life..."

"Don't say that, Lacey," Terry said.

* * *

"Hilde's back!" Quatre asked Relena, surprised and happy at the same time. They, Dorothy, Meilan, and Catherine were just walking around the school.

"Mm-hm! She's in my first and seventh period classes," she answered.

"I was worried we'd never see her again."

"Heh! She doesn't even remember _us!_" Dorothy said, meaning her and Catherine.

"Well, it's been three years, Dorothy. It's not surprising if she couldn't," Quatre explained. "Besides, you two never hung out with her."

"That pretty much explains it..." Catherine said.

"She obviously wouldn't remember me," Meilan said.

"Because all you do is talk your views about us women and how we must stop using our bodies and start using our brains!" Dorothy added.

"No, it's because I haven't met you all until the 8th grade you shit, fuckin' dumbass!"

"God! Could you at _least_ tone down the language!"

"No!"

"Oh there she is now!" Catherine said.

Hilde was just waving goodbye to her friends.

"Heh. She's the same sickening-adorable pixie-looking self as the last time I saw her," Meilan commented.

"Yeah!" Dorothy added. "Only more scary!"

Everyone glared at Dorothy...

Just then, Hilde turned around and saw her other friends (well, the ones she remembers, anyway.)

No one said anything for a moment.

"So," Dorothy began, "Do you worship Satan?"

"Dorothy!" Relena scolded.

"What the FUCK was that, Dorothy?" Meilan muttered.

"I was JUST asking!" Dorothy protested.

Quatre, Catherine, and Hilde simply stared at this...

"Um...sorry for that..." Catherine said.

"Don't be. My mom asked me that when I first became this." Hilde smiled.

"Yeah...and everybody thought I worshipped Satan when I said that homosexuality is normal...religious conservative bastards..."

Hilde turned to Quatre. "So how _has_ it been with you, lately?"

"Oh! Everything's fine," Quatre smiled, surprised that she actually remembers him.

"Anyone wanna hang out park?" Meilan asked.

"All right," Catherine answered. "After all, I'll never get the part of Ophelia, anyway. So I have no parts to remember!"

"How come we keep changing subjects?" Relena asked quietly. These people have the tendency to jump from one subject to another...

* * *

The little red corvette screeched all over the lane. And a song by Metallica was cranked up so loud it made the other guys' ears bleed...

Apparently (for some odd reason...), Duo was relaxed...I don't know how, but he was relaxed...maybe too relaxed...

"Duo! For the love of god, watch your driving!" Trowa shouted through the music.

"And turned down that damn music!" Wufei added.

"I don't hafta!" Duo shouted arrogantly... "It's my car!"

"How about you _all_ shut up," Heero simply muttered. (But the music was so loud they had no idea he even spoke...)

The car sped on down the road...recklessly...

* * *

_At the Park..._

"One more question," Dorothy began. "You don't have an eating disorder, do you?"

Hilde looked up at Dorothy, confused. "No...why?"

" 'Cause...you're so..." Dorothy glanced down at her to think of a good word. "Er...thin. Yes, thin. Just wondering."

Indeed, Hilde was the skinniest of the girls here.

"If she's thin, Dorothy," Meilan began, "then you are as fat as a sumo wrestler."

"What!"

Meilan always made fat jokes to Dorothy...whatever the reason...

"Meilan, stop making fun of Dorothy like that..." Relena scolded watching Dorothy cry streams...

Meilan shrugged. "She's full of lard!"

(In order to not start any chaos, Dorothy is NOT fat!)

"Meilan," Catherine began, "I don't think you may realize, but you're kill her!"

"And how the hell am I doing that?"

_Dorothy: Yummy, Miss Une! I'm so full! _

_Miss Une (You know...Lady Une...): (smiles) I'm glad you liked it!_

_Dorothy: Welp, I gotta go! See ya!_

_Treize__: Erm...okay, then..._

_Dorothy: (runs to the bathroom)_

_(Sounds of loud retching...)  
_

"You honestly think she would do that?" Quatre asked.

Catherine nodded. "I swear, Meilan and Dorothy are too blunt for their own good..."

Hilde just stood there...didn't know whether to laugh or be offended by all these remarks...

* * *

"Duo...I think something's wrong with the car!" Trowa began, yelling over "Master of Puppets."

"Everything's fine!" Duo retorted.

"No really...I think something fell off!"

Wufei looked behind the car. "Yeah...the bumper fell off..."

"The what!" Duo responded. He turned around, but then...

"Watch the car!" Wufei yelled.

The car almost hit a truck...again...and sped down to the right lane.

"You idiot! Where the hell did you get your license, anyway!"

"SHUT UP!" Duo screamed.

The car had entered the park down the road. Duo was trying to slow down.

For some odd reason, he couldn't.

"Um...you might wanna slow down..." Trowa said.

"I can't!" Duo replied. "Something's wrong with the fuckin' breaks!"

Heero sighed. "Dumbass forgot to check his brakes last night..."

"I heard that, dumb-fucker!"

Suddenly the car was headed toward a large pond! And Duo couldn't stop the little red corvette...

...Which his sad...because Prince sang about that car and it was awesome...

...Anyway...

"Oh great..." Duo muttered...

"Any last words, everyone?" Wufei asked.

"Yeah," Trowa began. "Duo sounds too much like Trent Reznor when he says the F-word..."

The others stared at him...

And the car made a big splash in the pond...

_About a minute later..._

The four guys slowly walked out of the pond like the zombies off of "Night of the Living Dead." They were just trying to dry themselves by taking off their shirts and wringing the water off of them.

Suddenly...

"Trowa!"

Trowa turned to see Catherine. "Hi, Cathy..."

"Guys, what happened to you!" Quatre asked.

"I'll explain that with one word...Duo..."

_((A/N: Let's see...Marquis de Sade is some nobleman from 18th century France who engages on a bunch of sexually activities, normal and bizarre...and he writes these...things..._

_I'm NOT bashing Dorothy! I don't even hate her (but my friend does...heh)! _

_"Master of Puppets" is by Metallica (though I've only heard few of their songs, that is by far my favorite)_

_Eh...I HAD to refer to Mr. Reznor. If one listens closely, he sounds like Duo if Duo should ever sing (Scott McNeil's voice). Maybe it's my new interest for NIN and their music...or something...I wanna listen to "Closer" again...))_


	3. Limp Bizkit in da hizzouse!

**_Title: _**_A __Los Angeles__ Tale  
_**_Inspiration(s): _**_Not based on anything in particular, but here are many inspirations...  
_**_Author: _**_Miss Rei Faun  
_**_Anime: _**_Mobile__ Suit Gundam Wing  
_**_Type of Fanfic: _**_Alternative Universe; set in __Los Angeles__ in the present (high school drama)  
_**_Genre: _**_Drama/Comedy/Romance (some chapters have more comedy then drama)  
_**_Couple(s): _**_OC x HS; DM x HS  
_**_Yaoi_****_ Yuri or Het: _**_Yuri and later Het  
_**_Original Characters: _**_A lot...  
_**_Notes/Warnings: _**_This chapter's pretty short...You're going to hear my favorite Limp Bizkit song...I have too much time on my hands... Oh and Trowa and Catherine are not siblings, not that I hate the idea, but...  
_**_Rating: _**_R for lime, angst, some drugs, sadness, and a bad flashback. (Edited)  
_**_Chapter Rating: _**_R (for foul language and Limp Bizkit)  
_**_Disclaimer: _**_GW belongs to Sunrise/Bandai; and all my inspirations come from their respected owners..._

_

* * *

_

"Lemme guess...Duo is a sorry ass driver..." Meilan muttered.

"I concur!" Dorothy said.

"For god sake, will you just shut up, chubby!"

Dorothy's tears well up and she marched right over to Wufei...

"Wufei! For god sakes, will you tell your girlfriend to stop saying I'm fat!"

Wufei just stared at the blonde. "...Riiiight..."

Relena walked over to Duo and Heero. "What happened to the car?"

"This dumbass forgot to check his brakes," Heero bluntly answered.

Duo stared at him and said in a low voice. "If you call me a dumbass one more time..."

"Okay, you two...don't start like you did Saturday," Trowa said.

"So...it fell in the pond?" Quatre asked.

"Pretty much."

Quatre looked really worried. "I'm afraid how your mom will react to this..."

Duo said nothing. Hilde didn't know why, but she kept staring at him (probably wondering whether he was hurt or something...)

Duo looked up to see her and he gave a very vague smile.

Catherine stared at everyone. "...Did someone make a reference to Trent?" She loves Nine Inch Nails...just as much as Duo loves Limp Bizkit...and he REALLY loves that band...

He still denies that thing about Fred trying to hook up with Britney Slut...

"I did," Trowa answered.

"Oh..."

"Look..." Duo began. "She won't get too upset..."

"Are you sure?" Trowa asked. "She does overreact...remember when you accidentally shrank her 'Wham!' shirt?"

_(The "Wham!" shirt is now about as big as most of Nellie's clothes...which are small...)_

_Lindsay: Oh...GAWD! (Cries uncontrollably) M-m-m-my-my-my SS-S-S-SHHHIIIIIIRTTTT! OH GYAD! (Wails and runs to each room)_

_Duo and a disturbed Trowa: (Just sits there)_

_(Cries) (Thumps) (Door Slams)_

_Trowa__: (looking very disturbed...)_

"...Yeah?" Duo shrugged.

"Well?"

"So..."

"Duo...she's going to kill you..."

"Look...she gets perfectly calm on situations worse than this...like when I accidentally blew up the garage two years ago..."

Most of the girls just stared at him like he was stupid...

"She'll just probably sigh and stuff..."

_At Home..._

"You...WHAT!" That was Lindsay...

"Where is the car?" Sarah asked.

Duo (still wet) sighed. "In the pond..."

Lindsay's left eye and mouth began twitching...

"You dad's little red corvette...sung about by Prince...is in the fucking POND!"

"Lizzie!" Sarah scolded. "You HAVE car insurance, you know..."

"No I don't."

"You don't?"

"For some odd reason the insurance died with David..."

Sarah became really worried. "Well what are we gonna do!"

Duo rolled his eyes at everybody...

"Well, since he trashed the damn thing...HE'S gonna have to pay for the damage..." Linsay said.

"I WHAT!" Duo protested. "Are you out of your fuckin' mind!"

"Ey! Don't you curse at me without saying the lord's name in vain first!"

"We're Catholic..." Sarah scolded her daughter and grandson. "We're not supposed to be cursing AT ALL!"

Lindsay sighed. "I guess that's the reason why I couldn't take the pill after screwing with David...he's a fucking Protestant...why couldn't _he_ use a damn condom...that horny ass..."

Duo just stared at her like she was retarded. _Great...another "Why Duo had to be born" comment..._ Duo thought...

"Duo already has a job," Sarah stated.

"Then any pay he gets is going to pay for the car!" Lindsay replied egotistically...

"I'm sure it's not so much," Sarah put on a hopeful smile.

"David bought the car for $215,000..."

"Oh dear...Duo how much does McDonalds pay you per week?"

Duo sighed. "25 bucks..."

"Oh...dear...well...er...I'm sure you'll get something nice for Christmas...or your birthday...like a pair of socks and such!" Sarah put on a grin and left at that followed by Lindsay.

Duo became REALLY pissed and went to the basement/his room...

_

* * *

_

Ladies and gentlemen! Pimps and Hos! Because Duo is so pissed off today, he's about to play "Eat You Alive," by Limp Bizkit on the radio!

...It could've been worse you know...Nellie could play that song by the Ying Yang Twins...it is _sick_...I can tell you...

...Anyway...

_Hey you!  
Misses, I don't know what the fuck your name is!_

Sarah and Lindsay were sitting at the dining room table drinking iced-tea (it's a daily routine for the mother and daughter). They weren't paying attention to the loud music...or at least not _trying_ to...

_I'm drawn to you, something's magnetic here  
If I could approach you  
Or even get close to the scent that you left behind  
I'd be fine._

"This song's interesting," Sarah said aloud.

Lindsay just stared at her mother...

_No doubt that  
You bring out  
__The animal inside..._

"Well it's your fault you know..." Sarah continued. "You should've been too harsh on him, dear...and that's a fact."

And here comes my favorite part...

_I'd eat you ALIVE!  
__I'd eat you alive..._

"Oh my..." Sarah said.

_I'd eat you ALIVE!  
__I'd eat you alive..._

"He sure likes that harsh music!"

Nellie walked in, annoyed. She's spending the night at the house again.

_Hey you!  
Misses, "too-good-to-look-my-way"  
__And that's cool._

"Hello, dearest," Sarah greeted.

"Can you two please tell him to turn down that crap?" Nellie asked.

_You want nothing at all to do with me  
But I want you, ain't nothing wrong with wanting you_

"Well..." Sarah began.

"You two and your music," Lindsay began...

_'Cause I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want  
You got that straight!_

"That guy talks about sniffing on girl's underpants!" Nellie protested.

"...Come to think of it, AC/DC did talk about big balls..."

_No doubt that...  
I'd love to...  
__Sniff on them  
__Panties now..._

"See!" Nellie cried. "I told you!"

"Oh blah-blah-blaggity-blah-blah..." Lindsay simply responded.

"Aunt Lizzie!"

"Lizzie, please..." Sarah sighed.

_I'd eat you ALIVE!  
__I'd eat you alive...  
__I'd eat you ALIVE!  
__I'd eat you alive..._

And the song went on for the rest of the night...

The end!

_((A/N: If you love Limp Bizkit, please don't hate me for making fun of them. If you are a Limp Bizkit (or Durst) hater...don't hate me for mentioning them...they are a little weird, but I don't hate them (or Durst...even though he liked Britney Slut). I love their songs because of the same reason why I love most of Eminem's songs—they're HILARIOUS! (If you love Nine Inch Nails but have a sense of humor, listen to Limp Bizkit's "Hot Dog" and you'll see what I mean...it's so fucking hilarious...)_

_And Lindsay is not a mean mother at all...if anything she's the female Peter Griffin (HAH!)! The family does get along, too sometimes...I just like making them scream at each other because it's funny..._

_I don't think I made it as funny as the first two...ah well...))_


	4. I'm Glad to See You, Again

**_Title: _**_A __Los Angeles__ Tale  
_**_Inspiration(s): _**_Not based on anything in particular, but here are many inspirations...  
_**_Author: _**_Miss Rei Faun  
_**_Anime: _**_Mobile__ Suit Gundam Wing  
_**_Type of Fanfic: _**_Alternative Universe; set in __Los Angeles__ in the present (high school drama)_**_  
Genre: _**_Drama/Comedy/Romance (some chapters have more comedy then drama)  
_**_Couple(s): _**_OC x HS; DM x HS  
_**_Yaoi_****_ Yuri or Het: _**_Yuri and later Het  
_**_Original Characters: _**_A lot...  
_**_Notes/Warnings: _**_Sorry I took so long! Well, the good news is...I'm back. Yay. The bad news: no humor this time...This is the one with the lime (Yuri) beware, folks...this is my first time doing any lime/lemon scene, so...  
_**_Rating: _**_R for lime, angst, some drugs, sadness, and a bad flashback. (Edited)  
_**_Chapter Rating: _**_R (for some drug use, language and slight lime...yay...)  
_**_Disclaimer: _**_GW belongs to Sunrise/Bandai; and all my inspirations come from their respected owners..._

_

* * *

_

_Meanwhile..._

"_Guten__ tag_, Hilde!" A sixty-seven year old man (named Hans Weiss) smiled and hugged Hilde.

"_Guten__ tag_, Grandpa!"

"How was your first day back? Do you remember anyone you know from before?"

"Yeah..."

"Hilde?" They turned to see a dark-haired woman with glasses, wearing a nursing uniform. "Hello dear."

"Hey Mom...you look tired."

"It really shows?" And the woman laughed. Her name is Nina Weiss Schbeiker, no more than forty-three years old.

"Let's say we get some of that ice cream!" Hans smiled.

"Papa! Your cholesterol!" Nina scolded.

"I'll be fine, Nina."

"And you spoil Hilde so."

"She deserves it!"

"Hilde, do you have any homework you need to do?" Nina asked her daughter.

"No..." Hilde answered, "But..."

"Yes?"

"Lacey's here...and..."

"Oh Lacey! How's she?"

"She's doing wonderful."

"That's good."

Hilde then said, "She wants me to see her, today. Can I see her?"

Nina smiled. "Well, supper won't be ready for a couple of hours, so I guess you can go ahead." She went upstairs so she can change. "Do you know where she lives?"

"Mm-hm!" And at that Hilde ran back out the door.

Hans stared at her. "It's nice that she saw her again."

"Yeah." Nina answered.

"Say, you were never really bothered by the fact that Hilde likes another girl."

"Well...papa..." Nina answered. "You're bisexual yourself. Before you married Mother, you had a beau..."

Hans laughed. "I guess. I wonder what happened to him anyway...Ah well, while you cook, I'm gonna play on the piano."

"_Again_?"

Well, here's the background of the Weiss/Schbeiker family. All three were born in East Germany (Hilde was two when they moved to the United States). The one woman Hans fell in love with, Hilde's grandmother, had died of cancer before she was born. Her name was Hilde, too. Hilde's dad was killed by government troops before she was born. (This was at the time when East Berliners were pretty much sick of Soviet oppression). Nina Weiss and Mr. Schbeiker were married she was twenty-six and when he was almost thirty.

(Contrast to Lindsay and David—they were just finishing high school...and Duo got conceived way before they ever married...it gets funnier...but that will be explained later...)

I'm think I'm done with this explanation...

* * *

_At another house..._

The doorbell rang and a scraggily looking lady walked up to the door. "Hold on! God!" She snapped. So she opened the door.

And there was a very nervous Hilde. "Umm...Mrs. Jones...is Lacey home?"

The woman just stared at the girl like she was retarded. "Yeah, she's here. You wanna see her or what?"

"Um...yes." The girl answered and the lady let her in. Hil was right about one thing: Mrs. Jones didn't really like her that much. For what reason I don't know...

So anyway, Lacey came down the stairs only see Hilde nervously waiting for her. She smiled. "Well, whadaya know! You came after all."

Her mother simply went to another room. Lacey meanwhile took Hilde upstairs to her bedroom.

_

* * *

_

Lacey's room didn't have much, but a bed, a window with curtains (blue—the girl detests the color), a TV, dresser, and a radio. That's it. Sorry if you readers were expecting to find posters of Cradle of Filth.

"You're room looks nice," Hilde smiled.

"Hate it, man," Lacey replied. "Everyone knows I hate blue, but Susan just HAD to throw away my Cradle of Filth posters, so I can't cover the damn wall up." She sighed and then she said, "Hmm. Maybe Bri has his old posters of Megadeth...whatever...I just want to cover the wall up."

By the way, Susan is Lacey's mother.

Hilde laughed at that.

Well, when it came to music, Brian and Lacey would listen only to the extreme black, death and thrash metal, so they're really more like metal heads than goths. (Terry's a punk rocker. Hilde's the only one that's a goth.)

"I swear she WANTS me to suffer or something."

Hilde smiled.

"That wasn't funny. I was being serious."

"I know."

Lacey looked up at the ceiling for a moment. Then she asked, "So how's everything with you?"

"Oh, I'm doing great."

"Kinda weird that you finally showed up...when school's almost over. Good thing you missed the stupid homecoming..."

Hilde looked down at the floor. "Grandpa wanted to move back here."

"And how is that old goat anyway?" She smiled.

"Well now he may be an old goat, but he still has life in him!"

"Okay!" Lacey laughed. "I was just joking!"

Hilde smiled warmly, to see her friend laugh whole-heartily.

"So," Lacey calmed down, "Was it scary being back here?"

"Brought me memories," Hilde answered, "You know, good and bad."

"Those old friends of yours were bad memories?"

"Oh no! I'm glad to see them again!" Hilde answered. "I still don't remember some of them though...but..." and then she smiled and turned from Lacey, almost blushing. "I'm really glad to see you."

Lacey looked at her at that. "Ey! Don't get all shy on me! I hate shy people!" The she looked up at the ceiling. "Then again...that's one of the things I like about you, Hil."

Hilde looked away from her friend, blushing again. "Really?"

Lacey moved closer. "Yep."

She then placed a finger on Hilde's chin and the next thing Hilde knew, her lips were touched by Lacey's.

The kiss quickly ended...and Hil was literally turning red...

Lacey sighed. "Kid, you blush too much..."

"Well, you..." Hilde replied in a small voice.

"Oh shut up! This wasn't the first time we kissed, you know!"

Hilde looked down again. "Can you..."

"Can I what?"

"Well...can you kiss me again?"

Lacey looked at her, warmly.

Then she smirked and locked he door.

"Lacey?" Hilde asked.

"I'll do much more than that..."

"What do you mean—?"

And in a split second, Hilde was on her back...and Lacey was sitting on the bed above her.

Hilde quickly panicked! "Oh no! I can't!"

"Oh come on..." Lacey replied, unbuttoning the dress. "It's not like you're going to get pregnant or anything..."

"But—"

"But you haven't done this before...yeah, yeah...whatever..."

Hilde smiled slightly at that.

"I promise you, Hil. You'll be fine." And then she leaned down to plant kisses on her neck and shoulders.

"But—" Hilde gasped at the warm touches. "Will it hurt?"

"We're both women...I don't think it's supposed to..." Then she stopped and looked up at her. "You know I'm not gonna hurt you...I...well you know..."

Hilde smiled. "Same to you Lacey."

"Hey Lacey!" Someone called from downstairs. Lacey grumbled and got up, leaving Hilde giggling.

"What!" Lacey shouted.

It was Terry, "Aunt Susan said that dinner's almost ready."

"Well, tell the idiot I'll be down in twenty minutes!"

"All right!" And so Terry went to do something else, and Lacey slammed the door...followed by a threatening message from her mother about that.

Lacey then took off her shirt, exposing her sports bra.

Obviously Hilde couldn't take her eyes off of the large young woman, because she was handsome.

"So..." Lacey began. "Where were we?"

"...I can't remember?"

"Well, let me ease your memory..." And so, she got on the bed and kissed the girl again.

"What about your mom?"

"We got twenty minutes. Let's get this over with."

_((A/N: This obviously sucks...because I can't do scenes like that...I'm sorry! So sue me!_

_Anyway, what's gonna happen next? Will Duo be all right? No? I don't know. Stay tuned.))_


End file.
